Amazing

I must say I have truly enjoyed this weeks reading. It is so amazing to me how one passage can contain so much meaning. I have just sat here in an apifinatic (is that a word) revelation. The first thing that hit me was am I valuable. This was the other day late at night when I read this. I thought to myself why am I valuable and I've been contemplating that for a couple days. Now today started off with the correct mind set.. do dishes get kids to school go get Caleb (my oldest son) 's trumpet send Chris's package to him. I was on the right track. I got all of the kids off to school, then I proceeded to put Lydia down for her napper and had some breakfast. Once I got the packages put together I realized that I was not going to be able to get Caleb's trumpet to him in time for band so I called the school to have them let Caleb know. I felt so terrible like a bad mother for him not having it again. I thought well at least I can have it waiting for him. So once lydia awoke I set out to get my diaper bag ready and load up the packages. I look outside and I am blocked in. I do believe I said out loud WHAT? Yep they are working on my road and neglected to tell me that guess what You Suzanne Nealis are not going ANYWHERE. Ok ok I see how it is. So where is my point in this. My valuableness(new word I claim it) Well Chris needs his package. I am the one facilitating that package. So how is the Lord using me here. I send Chris a package with menial things that make him happy, and his heart is full of the love That I give which is in turn God's love truly God loves us through each other. And caleb needs his trumpet and the lord has given me the means to make that happen. Now where though where does the need for me to be here come into place? I am not totally sure. Maybe the Lord saw my need for rest and to do nothing. I did do laundry but my valuability to myself. If I do not value myself enough to sit down and take a break then how can the Lord use me to help others? So I see this revelation there. Does that all make sense? Ok so the next revelation(I'm quite sure I'm not spelling that right lol) Quarrelling with God. Oh Yes yes I sure do. But I was not aware that I did. How many times do I deny my music. How many. I was sitting in the car one day singing I dont know much aaron nevill linda rondstat and the ppl next to me say you should be singing for God. Do I do that no. I say thankyou roll on my merry way and im out. peace. Now here I have an opportunity to not argue. I didnt either this is prior to reading day three. Leslie says to me I hear you can sing. You will sing with me then wont you. I said yes yes I will. Inside I'm screaming NOOOOOOOOO I WONTTTTTTTTTT. But yes I will. So I went home and sent her samples of me singing karaoke. I record myself singing when I have nothing better to do. So I argue with God all of the time. For years I said I will not leave the house I will NOT make friends I will not eat green eggs and ham. I do not like them sam I am. My skinny self I complain about that my breasteses I could name like ten million points that I argue with God over. Oh how bout forgiving people. WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO FORGIVE. That one is a big one. He says you will stay and perservere. And I do but I do it kicking and screaming. So maybe I should shut up. Just shut up and do what your told. Accept it love it live it. God is good he drives well. No tickets no negative marks. Just do what your told. Let him carry you. So that is me in my rambling randomness of thoughts.
What better way to fall asleep then praying to the Lord to help people. It is like a much needed bath in lavendar. I love God because he opens my eyes and even without my glasses I can see. God is good.